So it's currently 1:47 AM and I'm gonna vent a little here. Don't worry only about two glasses of wine have been consumed. I will not want to delete this tomorrow lol.
Webster's dictionary says flirting means "to behave amorously without serious intent; to show superficial or casual interest or liking."
Urban dictionary (sorry I had to do this) says flirting is "You dinking around with the opposite sex. complements and shit," "sexually socialling contact to the opposite sex," and "this is a difficult word to define because what may be flirting to one person may not be to another. i guess, as a verb, it would be defined as intentionally trying to attract the attention of one you "like" using means that could be considered seductive." Thank you Monkey for acknowledging the fact that what may be flirting to some, may be just friendly behavior to others.
Tonight I realized that I do not know how to flirt (Or if I do, every guy I've flirted with just hates me and thinks he's sparing my feelings by pretending he has no idea of my intentions). When I become interested in a particular fella I seem to either revert back to elementary school (punching, insulting, etc.) or become like an 80-year-old nun (calling them Sr. or some other ridiculously unnecessary grammatical ploy). I really am beginning to think I'm severely socially awkward. I always joke that Jen and I are the two most awkward people on Earth, but I very well may be. I just wish maybe there was an easier, more direct way to show someone you like them, without looking like a complete idiot. And, as I've talked about in my previous "fear of rejection" post, I know that there isn't. I've just gotta suck it up.
I just really wish I could be more girly, flirtatious, and at times I guess even..... seductive :/ . I'm much too awkward to be any of these, which makes my life as a single female a little difficult. I'm too broke (recent college grad ughh) to care much about style or clothing, can't do makeup worth a shit and feel like a clown when I actually try, and laugh in awkward situations which makes being seductive absolutely impossible. So, what is a girl like me to do???
I find comfort in knowing that my name (Jamie) on Urbandictionary comes up as "a sweet girl", "thief", blah blah blah and then entry #5 (which I prefer) "a really big boner." As in "Dude that girl gave me a Jamie." (most of the entries were super-cute though, I'm glad to know my name is synonymous with cool chicks) On that note I will go to bed now.